The Extended Inquiry Project
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Above is my first draft of my EIP. Professor Campbell commented on it and said that it was "a good draft on a complicated issue," but could be better if some structural changes were made.
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In this revision, most of the changes made were simple mistakes, like forgetting a letter or grammar issues. However, some larger issues were fixed, such as narrowing my title and introduction down to a central issue addressed throughout the project, and explaining some things that I left too open-ended. I believe that these changes will allow my project to address some of the smaller details within the argument, and strengthen my claim.
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